We are in this together, we have both felt it, so read and open your heart. We all need somebody to lean on.
God is concerned about your feelings, he has feelings too
He understands how you feel to and from opposite sex.
The topic is dealing with deep attractions from the opposite sex. This is not to say we should avoid the opposite sex. This is not to say ‘don’t play with man/woman’ but to channel it aright.
We can’t be a lone ranger,we need friends. We need the opposite sex as friends too, let’s not even deceive ourselves.
We need great connections in life.
Truly and sincerely, you need that feeling of wanting a man/woman too.
If you don’t feel it, are you an human being?
We are wired that way, we have hormones in us.
Then when we now say ‘dealing with deep AFFECTIONS from opposite sex’ … if you don’t have ‘ brothers’ as a lady disturbing you, pls go for deliverance .
If no man has come forth whether seriously or jokingly, then it’s a serious issue as a lady. Of course, it’s rare for a woman to chase a man so this might not apply.
So we know they will always be there, even in this age, It’s like we have them all around like they have been waiting for us to grow. Lol
By His grace, God has placed hormones in us, what we sometimes call ‘mushiness’
You know that fantasy you create when a Male/female friend is close to you exceptionally,
I make it o, let’s know ourselves …
The first thing to dealing with this thing is ‘knowing’- Accepting that you feel it
You know you create wedding picture already when one someone meets your standard.
This mushiness, God wants it to be for one beautiful human He is preparing for us, not to be swayed here and there.
If you don’t handle it now, there will be finer people than your spouse and it can cause problems in marriages
Now let’s go to what interests you in a man/woman?
You are the only one reading this,begin to type it out in your jotter.
What’s your spec in a man/woman?
Leave spiritual and God fearing first, we all want it. Let’s talk man to man
Do you want to know mine?
For me, I like tall guys, intelligent , smelling nice , fine hands, good dress sense ,let me stop there first before I give you too much. We are talking about deep attractions from opposite sex, that means the person has to attract you in one way or the other.
We have to first know these things because the devil is smart, he doesn’t just have salvation.
You won’t be talking to someone and be led on, if he didnt have some characteristics of your spec.
You know this devil, He will now bring ‘spiritual person’ that will now have your spec.
Our weak point is what he targets the most and our emotion is the best place to be.
Now that we have established our interests. What are your core standards?
What are the values that you cant play with ?
What are your standards ? Set it so you can’t be swayed. That will differentiate your interest from your standard. You have to decide first.
If you have a pen, write them down
When you have core values, it’s like convictions, you are not exchanging it for anything.
My friend used to say ‘I can get the icing on the cake’
So trust God to input all the physical traits in the man who has standards.
Our emotions are the best for the devil to get us, your vulnerability needs that you exchange it with being vulnerable with God.
You know that, the person you are talking to right now doesn’t meet your standard, set by God but you want his company nevertheless.
Who is on this table?
Everyone of us wants company of the opposite sex and when he/she now has our interests, we are almost married in our head
Now, how do you handle what is between a man and a woman?
There are different kinds of people
Some who are in a situationship and you know it but don’t want to hurt the person or rather enjoying the company.
Now I know, you know they say ‘define your relationship’ but I come to tell you again ACT YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!!
Your attitudes are showing it, all the signals you give but the person is persistent. All the one word answers, excuses you give but yet…
Some people on this table too, you are afraid to lose that person, you know he or she is not the one but you are living your life on ‘what if?’
To those who it is there but it’s not mutual. You have deep attraction to that person , many people are on this table, but you know the other doesn’t feel what you are feeling, yet you want to hold on …
I know it is not easy, I have not come to judge
I know the feeling of wanting a Male friend, I know how your hormones play trick on you especially on ‘special days’
But I’ve come to remind you again
Your worth in Christ
God loves you, his relationship is a sweet one. That’s why I started with ‘God is concerned with your emotions’
He knows just how you feel,
He knows it.
Yes, that emotion can’t lie just there
Even if you have decided to be strong headed. It needs to be filled up
God wants to fill it up!
Love God so deeply, watch people who love God so much and be immersed, you won’t have time for swayed affections. You will be be so busy and burning for God
Another thing that fuels our attraction to the opposite sex is love for romantic books and romantic movies.
If you can’t control your desire for bellanaija pictures and videos , always craving for love , we are not setting our priorities aright.
You will continually sleep and wake with the thought of a man and of course the man closest to you.
While preparing for this, the Holy Spirit dropped this;
There are people attracted to masturbation, attracted and addicted to bad novels, it gives you the attention no man is giving that’s your own attraction.
You are reading this and God is quickening your heart to this. God’s love is calling you. He will exchange that desire for burning desire for souls.
Another person here;
Already possessed with the Spirit of lust, you see him in dreams , you see yourself making love to him. You know you are in that bondage for years, it has happened with more than one man, it keeps happening. Bow your head in repentance and release yourself to him
To those who it is mutual, but you know its not the will of God
You know it, but you keep creating excuses for yourself. You are scared to let go.
We hurt God when we prioritise a man/woman over Him, another relationship over him- that’s not the right person, whoever is not making you love God more isn’t for you and your attention is drawn to a man more than him. Gal 5:17
For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
If you work by the flesh, whoever that man is that speaks to your flesh isn’t the will of God for you.
How to keep good relationships and not give wrong impression .
In life, we need friends, we need connections. You need good family friends , family friends entails the man and the wife
Tell yourself ‘I won’t chase away the gift of men that God gives me’
The gift of men are sometimes called destiny helpers. They don’t necessarily have to be far away.
They might be your close friends, helping you get to where God wants you to be.
Firstly, remember your standard and you are not compromising.
When you have a Male/female friend, in our head, we sometimes size them up if they could be the one.
You need friends along life’s road
Be a friend
When you notice what’s not, act!
What usually disturbs us from acting is because we enjoy the company
Ohhhhohh, but Jesus company is sweeeeeeeter
Have you tried it?
Is your relationship with God boring?
Then you have not seen him as your friend yet?
Some people who know me know that the Holy Spirit is my best friend
It’s no joke
I know I like friendship a lot and I like man, but he has everything, I choose to see him as a man I can always talk to.
There’s this passage the Holy Spirit gave me to be in a good mental state;
Songs of Solomon 3:5: Do not awaken my love until its ripened
That verse is still helping me till date. I give it to you today. You can choose to have that covenant with God that your love be not awaken for the wrong man/woman.
Today is not the first day you are hearing about boundaries. It takes grace
For me, I sometimes tell God to let me enjoy the emotions with the person small even if I know it wont last, but my vulnerability with God takes me away when I’m going too far or too comfortable.
Be opened to communicate; Many people don’t like to tell the other party to stay away because you think he/she might think less of you
That’s when you earn more respect
When conversations are becoming too personal more than necessary; Open up and tell that you are not comfortable and you need space.
I bring God’s love to you, that’s what the Holy Spirit sent me to share;
That you replace that desire to be strongly loved by a man/woman and see Christ’s love for you and all the works He wants you doing, filling you with so much love.
It is a continuous fight with the Spirit and the flesh that’s what the Bible says
If you succeed with one opposite sex, you have many others to overcome
That’s why that songs of Solomon verse is necessary.
Deep attraction is needed for your husband/wife to be
I pray that it is reserved for him/her and when it’s time it blossoms rightly.
The will of God is that you be settled rightly and early.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
Stop that relationship taking you away from God, embrace God’s love. You will be settled early and rightly.
The Holy Spirit wants that relationship
He wants you talking to him morning, afternoon, night.
He wants you ranting to him like you would want to rant to a man. Don’t lower your standards to accommodate anyone who isn’t for you. Don’t entertain affections from anyone not sent by God.
You cannot be moved
You shall not be moved
Recieve good friendships, the ones who will channel you aright both Male and female
Does that mean after this we wont feel things?
You will feel o, you will oo.
During ovulation as a lady, choose to pray for your future spouse, communicate the feeling to God, your friend, listen to songs.
Marry your friend doesn’t mean you must marry that good friend.
Another lady that God has created him for deserves her match too.
Release him to his wife
You are his/friend friend because you met him somewhere. There is always a meeting place. God will create a meeting place for you and your spouse.
Don’t box God, Be vulnerable with God
Share your ‘gimgim’feelings with Him
Share how you crush on that person so much but kai ‘His will be done’
I decree that my emotions is stable.
No more will the devil do trial and error with me. Begin to make declarations that comes to your Spirit man.
Do well to leave me a comment on how you have also dealt with yours. I will appreciate it.
Like, and share to as many that needs it.
Written by Faith Adegboye